Fadedwords

Monday night I went with my friend Sarah to see SARK in Durham.  It was quite the adventure, as I suppose it should have been.  I wrote the directions down wrong and we ended up in downtown Raleigh instead of downtown Durham.  Thankfully Sarah’s boyfriend was able to help us out, and we were only a couple minutes late to the event.

I have been an avid fan of SARK since I was in high school.  Her writings have inspired and delighted me, frequently reminding me to live juicy and let my inner creator out.  Hearing her speak, and seeing her in person was so incredibly wonderful.  She is just as I imagined she would be.  I was also able to meet many SARK fans who are just as wonderful as I imagined they would be.  I have the email address of one who is going to start a writing get together, which I’m very excited about.

I bought a copy of the new book, Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper and then stood in line to get it and Succulent Wild Women signed.  When I got to SARK, I was hit with her incredible presence.  She talked openly, asked questions, and after she had signed she said, “What is that man’s name?” I looked around and noticed she was pointing at the man who worked at the bookstore.  I said I didn’t know and she quickly and quietly said, “Sh*t I don’t either!  Isn’t that horrible?” We laughed a little and I said, “I’ll go find out what it is.” So I went and asked him his name, told him it was lovely to meet him, and went back to SARK and told her.  Then I asked if she would mind if we took a picture together.

I read the book last night, and it was absolutely wonderful.  She encourages you to write… anything.  She encourages you to send your inner criticts off to new jobs so they will leave you alone, something I think I’ll do.  I’ll have to read the book three or four more times before I have a full grasp and absorb it all. 

If you ever have the chance to hear her speak, please go.  And if you’re a writer, get this book.  It is a gift.

Merlin has loved going to the park since he was a little puppy.  It’s been awhile since we visited, but yesterday we decided to take him to Lake Benson Park.  He’s come a long way since the last time he was at a park at about 6 months old; yesterday he ventured into the lake and handled other dogs and people extremely well.

You can see all the pictures here.

Even though I wrote about it on Shrinking Me, I thought I’d mention it here too… I mean, the last two posts have been pretty down in the dumps.  It’s time for a little bit of positive here at Fadedwords.

WW today went much better than expected.  I lost 4.2lbs!!  This brings my total to 12.2lbs lost… which is half of my 10% goal.  I really needed a loss like this today; it’s helped put me in a better mood regarding everything.

So yeah.  4+ more down… next goal is 5 more.

I mentioned in my previous post that I had sent an email about what was going on, explaining why I was upset.  I wasn’t really expecting a response because I had told them I would call next week when I wasn’t so upset.  I was a little surprised to have an email this morning from Joy, the diretor of the riding academy.

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There aren’t too many things that I am incredibly passionate about.  I’m pretty sure I’ve made it clear that horseback riding is one of those things.  It’s probably at the top of the list of things I love.  The past three weeks riding have been the best in a long time. 

I got a voicemail today from the director of riding academy at the farm letting me know that I would not be able to ride there because they have a weight restriction. 

I’ll go on record as saying I understand weight restrictions.  I competed in college and I completely understand the toll it takes on a horse to have many lessons a day.  If you add to that riders that are heavier, it’s just not fair or safe.  So I get it.  In fact, when I first started looking in to riding I worried that I wouldn’t be able to start until I lost some weight.  So I understand it, I even support the notion.

What I do not support is this:

• There was no mention of this on the website under rider requirements when I first went there.  In fact, they just updated their site today and now it’s on there.  (sidenote: that makes me feel as if it was added just for me… and that adds to the totally effing awesome feeling I have right now).
• When I went for my farm tour I filled out paperwork that asked for my weight and I answered honestly.  This was before I ever saddled up.
• I rode for the first time four days later and there was no mention of weight.
• I turned in my group riding lesson stuff the day after that and again put in my weight.
• I rode two more times and no mention was made of my weight. 
• They left me a damn voicemail that, in essence said, “You’re too fat to ride.”  You don’t tell someone that in a damn voicemail.

I wrote them an email and voiced my reasons for being upset.  I also told them that I do want to ride with them when my weight is in the right range, but that they really need to be more careful in the future to respect peoples’ feelings and time… not to mention money.  I dished out $190 just in riding lesson the past month… and I won’t even jot down what I spent on gear.  I paid this because I was led to believe I’d be starting a rigorous training program at the end of the month.  They had the info about my weight at the end of July, and they are just now telling me I’m too heavy.

I’m not ashamed of my weight.  I gained it due to serious medical issues, and I’m working really damn hard to lose it now.  I’m succeeding so far.  I also won’t sit here and lie and say that it doesn’t hurt an incredible amount to have someone tell me (no matter how tactfully) that I’m too fat to do something that I love so damn much.   

I was so looking forward to this.  After three weeks I was over the incredible pain of starting over.  I was feeling really good about how I was riding.  And now I’m going to have to start all over again in 3 months or whenever I lose another 19lbs.  I’m absolutely crushed.